Bittersweet
by Gillianpiperoscarfelixdavid
Summary: I don't need you. I don't want you. I don't love you. I'm a liar. One year, two months and seven days… I cant forget you.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Mulder, Scully or The X-Files

Angst/Romance - MSR

**Summary:** I don't need you. I don't want you. I don't love you. I'm a liar. One year, two months and seven days… I cant forget you.

**Bittersweet**

**Chapter 1**

He gazed at Dana. He even didn't move. First I thought he was speechless because of her beauty tonight, but then I changed my mind when I saw the sadness in his eyes.

"Hi Andy, let me introduce… this is Fox Mulder, my old friend – a special FBI Agent. Mulder, this is Dr. Andy Steward, the best doctor in our hospital…" Jessica said.

"Hi Steward," Mulder said.

"Hi Mulder, call me Andy," I smiled, shaking his hand.

"And this is…" Jessica was going to talk, but she stopped as she saw the gaze between Mulder and Dana.

"Dana, do you know him?" I asked suspiciously, looking at Dana.

"No, I don't know him," Dana shook her head. "Hi Mulder, I'm Dana Scully," she said mildly.

Dana smiled but I could tell that she was pretending. She told lie. Dana Scully wasn't a good liar. The color in her eyes changed into deep blue.

"Hi Scully," Mulder said.

He looked hurt. They still didn't say anything. That was an awkward moment before Dana turned her head. Suddenly, she hugged me tightly, burying her head into my chest.

"Andy… I'm tired," she whispered.

I held her in my arms and rubbed her waist. "Honey, are you ok?" I asked her concernedly.

"Maybe she needs some cold water, Andy,… hmm… maybe we will talk later?" Jessica said.

"Sorry Jessie… talk to you later."

"It's ok, Andy. Good bye, see you later Dana," Jessica smiled. "Mulder, come with me, I will introduce you with my other friends."

Dana didn't reply, she held me tighter.

"Dr. Steward, goodbye," Mulder said, "goodbye Scully."

Maybe it was my imagine but I felt Dana shaking slightly. I looked at Mulder, finding no words to describe his look. He gazed at my Dana with his dark hazel eyes again then he leaved. I sighed. His looks scared me.

"Dana? Dana? Are you Ok?"

"I'm fine, Andy."

I knew she wasn't fine, but I didn't want to ask more. She always used that word to tell about her feelings.

* * *

><p>I met Dana one year ago, one year and two months exactly. She was new doctor in my hospital. She was peaked when I met her at the first time, but I knew that I had an crush on her immediately. I loved her blue eyes, her tiny nose, her red hair and her thin body. My heart stopped beating when I saw her smiles. But she had some secrets, I just knew she came from Washington DC but I didn't know anything about her past. She had never told me. I didn't dare ask her because I knew it was a sad part of her life.<p>

I loved her, she knew it. She tried to keep the distance between us but I didn't give up. I gave her the roses, taking care of her when she was sick, I could do anything just to make her feel my love. Six months ago, I told her I loved her and she shook her head looking at me with her sad blue eyes. I knew she was still sad about the past.

Four months ago I told her again and she didn't say anything.

"Dana, I love you…"

"…"

"You were sad for a long time, Dana, you always kept smiling but I knew it. I don't want to see the sadness in your eyes anymore… Dana, I want to make you happy…"

"…"

"I won't give up, Dana," I said, touching her back.

She looked at me when I touched her back.

"Andy…" she said. "I'm afraid…"

I pulled her into my arms. I didn't hear any sounds but I knew she was crying. She always cried quietly.

"I will never hurt you, Dana. I will never give up on you. I love you…" I said.

Then I kissed her… she kissed me back. Then, Dana Katherine Scully became my girlfriend. I hoped that I could make her smile.

* * *

><p>"Andy?" Dana slapped my arms, bringing me back to the reality.<p>

I noticed that she drank a big glass of Whiskey. Her cheeks were red as her hair color. I smiled, she looked so cute.

"You got drunk, Dana."

She tilted her head, "no. I'm not."

"You are a bad drinker, honey."

"I want to go home, Andy…" she said, holding my hand.

"It's Ok, I will drive you home…"

* * *

><p>When we entered her apartment, suddenly Dana snuggled me to her. She kissed me. I was in shock. It was me who always kissed her first. It was a passionate kiss.<p>

"Dr. Scully, are you trying to seduce me?" I joked.

She nodded and kissed me again. I unzipped her dress and it fell down on the floor.

I smiled. She was laying here in the bed, looking at me with her beautiful eyes. She had never let me touch her before, not this way. She wasn't too drunk, I knew it. I thought she let me do it because she loved me. I captured her lips with mine. I loved her lips. God, I love this woman. She touched my bare chest.

"Dana Scully, you're driving me crazy…"

I kissed her neck. Touching her soft skin just turned me on. She was still in her black bra, I touched her back to take it off.

But she shaked. Dana Scully was shaking. I knew that I did something wrong… because she had never let me touch her back before. She didn't want anybody touching her back.

"I'm sorry…" I stopped, and kissed her cheek again.

Her cheeks were wet. She was crying…

"Dana?"

"No… don't stop, Andy…"

She touched my arms but I get off her.

I knew she didn't want me.

"Andy…?"

"Dana, you don't really want me tonight… I want you but I cant do this… I don't want to make you regret when you wake up next morning. I cant take advantage of you tonight…" I shook my head.

"Andy, I want you…."

"Your soul isn't here with me tonight. I don't want to have sex. I can have sex with every women but I just want to make love to you. Make love… do you understand? I need your soul here…"

She paused. The tear trailed down her cheek. I wiped her tears away. Then I stood up, grabbing my clothes and leaved her apartment.

"Dana Scully, do you know that you hurt me too?"

_**A/N: Dont hate me, dont hate Andy. This is MSR story, dont worry. It will be Mulder's POV next chapter.**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**Mulder's POV**

She was standing here in the hall. She looked beautiful tonight. I couldn't help staring at her sparking blue eyes. She was Dana Scully.

I thought I would never see her again. It was my mistake letting her go. She was thinner than the last time we met… one year, two months and seven days ago. She left Washington DC without saying goodbye to me. I knew where she was but I didn't dare meet her again. After our argument, I thought I should let her go, maybe she would be happier living without me. She had enough pain in her life, losing Melissa, Emily, even losing a chance to be a mother. Because of me…

"No, I don't know him," Dana Scully shook her head.

I smiled bitterly. Now Dana Scully didn't know Fox Mulder. She wanted to erase me like erase the pencil marks. When I saw the way Steward looking at me, I knew he was nervous. Maybe he was afraid of losing her, like I did? He was sweet with her. I knew he loved her very much. I loved Scully too. But, the difference between us was… I had never told her before, that I loved her.

She was pretending that she didn't know me. Her eyes were wet, I knew she was trying to keep her tears not falling down. I couldn't read it from her eyes. They were deep blue, lots of sorrows behind this color.

"Hi Scully," I said, my throat was dry.

"Andy, I'm tired…" she said.

In that moment I was afraid that her cancer coming back. Scully buried her face into Steward's chest. I was stupid. She just didn't want to see my face.

"Honey, are you ok?" Steward asked.

His was hurt by his word. "Honey?" I couldn't smile anymore. It was so bitter. My Dana Scully moved on with this man. I was hurting inside but I couldn't blame her. She needed a new life.

Goodbye, Dana Scully.

Gibson told me that Scully was in love with me. That boy could read the minds, but was he true this time? I shook my head, washing my face with cold water, but the sight of Scully hugging Steward was vivid in my mind.

I missed her so much. I missed the feeling sitting in my chair, gazed at my Scully under the dim light of our basement office. I missed her back, I love touching her back. I missed her breath when she was talking, the way she raised her eyebrows and licked her lips. I missed Dana Scully.

I didn't know why I was standing here in front of her apartment, her new apartment. I even didn't know how I get there. I just knew that I needed to see her. Who the hell rang her doorbell? Was it me?

The door was opened. Scully was going to close the door as she saw my face but I grabbed her wrist to stop her.

"Scully…" I said mildly.

"What do you want? Did you hear my word? I don't know you," she tried to let go of my hand.

"Let me in, please…"

She paused. I felt her shaking slightly… and she let me in.

I sat in her couch, looking at my hand, didn't know what to say.

"Mulder, what do you want from me?" she crossed her arms.

And I smiled. I knew I was stupid but I smiled, the way she crossed her arms, the way she called me Mulder… recall me the past.

"I… I just want to know how you are doing?"

"I'm fine. Thank you Mulder, it's very kind of you," she ironized. Then she smiled bitterly, "what about you, Agent Mulder? Are you and Agent Fowley doing ok?"

I paused. I knew why Scully mentioned Fowley there. I told lie, I didn't tell Scully that I was married to Fowley. She was mad at me when she figured out it.

Scully went to her kitchen and come back with two cups of hot coffee.

"Fowley was dead," I said.

Two cups fell down to the floor. They were broken.

"Ouch!" I jumped.

"Scully, are you Ok?" I rushed into her.

I held her hands, checking if hot coffee burned her fingers.

"Don't touch me, Mulder!" she said.

I didn't care about her words, I touched her back.

"Don't touch me!" she said coldly.

I knew I was rude but I couldn't stop. I hugged her tightly.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" she yelled, trying hard to push me away. "Don't touch me like the way you touched her!" she cried.

"What?"

"I saw you… I saw you kissing her. You didn't believe in me, you didn't need me. I followed you like a pig and you even didn't care about me. You diched me when you met your lovely wife again…" she cried.

"It's not that… Scully…" I tried to explain.

"So what is it? Tell me, Mulder, what is it? You slept with her. Now she was dead and you come here to find me… Do you want me to comfort you?" she laughed bitterly.

Now I knew the reason why she left me and The X-Files. Because she thought I didn't need her and I slept with Diana?

"Scully… you don't understand… I…"

"I don't understand? Yes, I ALWAYS don't understand, right?" she was angry now.

"Because I love you, Scully! I can't let you live in danger! I don't want to ruin your life! I don't want to see they hurt you…"

She paused. She didn't say a word. But then she shook her head.

"I don't believe you, Mulder… I knew what I saw. You don't need me. I had a new life now. Andy is a good man, I cant cheat on him."

"The only truth I want you to know, that I love you, Scully. Yes, Steward is a good man, he can give you a normal life. I'm sorry, for everything…."

"Just go, Mulder…"

I looked at her.

"Please…" she said.

Then I left.

**_A/N: I don't know if I make any misunderstanding here in my first chapter? I read a review but I cant reply you so I decide to reply you here. I didn't want to write Scully as a cheap woman. And, sorry, I don't like that word. She didn't sleep with anybody. I thought I wrote it in my story, it's take a long time before Scully decided to move on with Andy. In my opinion, she is not a cheap woman if she sleep with her boyfriend? Is Scully cheap woman when she had one night stand with Ed J.?_**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3:**

**Andy POV**

I didn't know if I was staring at Dana or not. She was preparing breakfast in the kitchen. I just wanted to enjoy this sweet moment forever, the sight of a beautiful woman in my kitchen, the smell of pancakes… it was so cosy. I smiled when I saw her trying to reach the bottle in the dresser.

"Let me help, my little woman," I said, taking the bottle for her.

"Thanks, but I'm not little woman, Andy," she smiled.

I stood behind her, and wrapped my arms around her waist. I rested my chin on her shoulder.

"Doctor Scully, will you make the breakfast for me every morning?" I kissed her cheek.

"Maybe," she answered simply.

When she took the plate, I noticed the slight burn on her fingers.

"What's happened?" I touched her fingers.

"I'm fine, Andy."

"It's not an answer, Dana."

Suddenly, she pulled me away.

"That's my answer. What do you want me to say?" she yelled.

I didn't know what to say, standing in shock.

"I'm sorry Andy, I just… I didn't mean to yell at you. I…" she looked at me with her guilty eyes.

"I don't understand your reaction, Dana…" I shook my head. "I just want you to tell me the truth. You've kept a lot of secrets and I know that you are not fine. I can see the sadness in your eyes. You have never told me about your past. Do you think that I should know about it? I can't help if I don't know anything," I said. I didn't want to bring it on, but after that night, now it was the time to ask.

And she cried. Dana had lived with her sadness for a long time, I knew it, but she had never showed me her tears before.

"Dana, please, talk to me…" I begged. I couldn't look at her crying and don't know the reason.

"Before I met you…" she sniffed, "I was an FBI Agent…"

* * *

><p>She told me about her past, her work, her… partner. I immediately knew that was him, Fox Mulder, the man we met at the party that night. I even knew he wasn't only "partner" with her.<p>

"Do you love him?" I interrupted her.

She didn't answer me. But when I looked into her eyes, I could see it. She loved him. Damn. But it was the truth.

"Andy…" she said mildly.

I looked at her. I was afraid. Maybe, this woman wouldn't make breakfast for me anymore…


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4:**

**Mulder POV**

She was there. I didn't expect it. I was going to leave this place. I thought she would never want to see me again.

"Can we talk?" she said mildly.

I didn't know what she wanted to talk about. If she came here to tell me stop ruining her new life then she didn't have to do it. She was right, it was her new life.

"It's OK. Come in," I nodded.

She sat down in the couch, looking at my packages.

"I'm going to come back to DC," I said.

"Mulder, I…" she muttered. "Um… I…. Sorry…. I think I should go."

She stood up, heading to the door but I grabbed her wrist. Damn! I was angry.

"I don't know what you want, Scully. I can't understand. When will you really talk to me? When will you stop telling me your feelings with your damn words "I'm fine"? Maybe you think that you're strong woman, you don't need me, it's allright. But please don't act like this. I know you don't want to talk about your feelings, but you make me worry. Scully, one years two months and seven weeks ago, you left me in silence. I lived in hell, I didn't know the reason why… Do you really want this? Do you really want to keep silent forever?" I shouted.

She stopped, staring at me. I could see the tears in her wet blue eyes. Damn! Now I made her cry. It was my fault, maybe she would kick my ass and leave me. No, I didn't want this.

"Scully…"

"No, Mulder," she shook her head.

"Good! Mulder, now she didn't want to talk to you," I thought.

I was afraid that she would leave, but she didn't.

"I love you, Mulder."

DANG!

"What?" I was surprised.

"I left you because I love you…" she said.

"Scully…" I couldn't utter a word.

"I have been in love with you for a long time, Mulder. It's hard to tell you. I know, we are partner, we are friend, but I can't stop feeling like this. I was afraid when I realized my love for you. I was afraid that I will broke our friendship if I tell you. When she came, I was angry… Diana… You trusted her… You ditched me…" she sobbed.

"Scully…"

"Don't! Mulder, don't interrupted me.I don't think that I'll give myself a chance to talk about my feelings again," she tears fell down her cheeks. "I knew you slept with her. I didn't want you to know how much this is bothering me. No, I didn't want you to know that I was jealous. Beside it, I couldn't believe that you didn't trust me enough to tell me all the truths. You trusted her. You didn't need me. And I left…"

"Listen, Scully…"

"I'm sorry," she continued. "I know it's not my business, I mean, your relationship… I'm sorry I left you without telling you the reason, but I just don't want to make you feel uncomfortable. We was partner and you had your personal life. I just couldn't stand there looking at two of you. I'm sorry…"

I was in shock. She loved me. Did she really tell me that she love me? I snuggled her to me, holding her tightly. I realized how thin she was…

"Don't apologise!" I lifted her chin. Our eyes met. "Why didn't you tell me?" I asked.

She shook her head. I touched her cheek with my thump, wiping her tears away.

"Scully… we were stupid. You were afraid of telling me your feelings… and… me too," I told her.

She looked at me, her eyes widen.

"Because… I love you too."

Finally, I could tell her. We were too stubborn to tell each other, we were too afraid… But I loved her. I loved this strong woman. Her told me, and this was my turn telling her back.

"I didn't ditch you… Scully… I just didn't want to put you in danger… hey, listen, I know you're strong person and you can handle everything yourself, but I love you, I didn't want to see them hurt you… I trust you with my life, I just don't want to hurt the woman I love… I'm sorry…"

Then I lowered my head… My lips touched hers. I kissed her gently, tasting her tears. It was bitter… It was sweet… But when she touched my hair with her hands, she drove me crazy. I missed her very much.

"I miss you," I mumbled. I kissed her cheeks, her nose, her eyes… I bit her cherry lips… God, I dreamed kissing this woman many times ago. My tongue explored her mouth. She tasted so good.

"I love you…." I broke our kiss for air. I gasped, burying my face into her hair.

"I love you too… she hold me tightly.

* * *

><p><strong>Andy POV<strong>

When Mulder touched her back, I understood. She didn't want anybody touch her back but him. Maybe I wouldn't lose her if I didn't tell her to talk to him. If I kept silent, I could have her, but I couldn't have her soul, her true love. She cried, asking me if she hurt me. I smiled, then shook my head no. She hurt me, it was the truth, but I would never tell her. I knew she didn't mean it, she didn't want to hurt me that much.

She left with him. I could see the smile in her face. She was truly happy.

"Good bye Dana, you hurt me but I love you. I will never regret loving you."

I said bitterly. There was no love without pain.

* * *

><p><em><strong>End.<strong>_

_**Thank you for reading. Can you leave reviews please :D**_


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